I’m not a reader. I think the last time I finished a book was nearly 2 years ago (and that’s only because I had the accountability of reading it with someone else!) The thought of reading terrifies me a bit. But here I am, doing a book review! Why? I have personally found this book to be so helpful. “Losing Sammy” is not a scary looking book, it’s only 78 pages long. It is a very readable book, but not easy to read. Valerie shares, in a very real and raw way, the grief and heart ache she was facing during and after her miscarriage.
The back reads “Losing Sammy is a collection of twelve letters written to an unnamed Mother after she suffers the miscarriage of her child. The letters speak of loss and loneliness, strength and courage, hope and peace”.
Tim and I recently experienced a miscarriage. My default would be to turn to people, sit with them, have a cuppa and a chat. However Covid didn’t allow that to happen and even if it would of been possible, I don’t know if a chat would of helped (the company, hugs and cuppa would of I’m sure!) I didn’t know how to articulate how I was feeling, all I knew was that I was deeply sad. Reading this book felt as if I was walking along this path of grief with a friend who was also walking this path herself. Valerie was able to articulate what I was feeling.
Valerie shares her excitement and joy at discovering she was pregnant, how she had planned and envisioned what life would be like with the new addition. She brings us in and shares the physical, emotional and spiritual elements of her miscarriage. Valerie shares how she was looking for answers as to why she lost her child “The next best explanation was that there was something ‘defective’ (as put by the medical sites) with the baby. I found it hard to accept this. Why would God plant a defective seed in me? Dear friend, this was the point I had to trust Abba Father. I had to cling on to Scripture and will myself to find assurance in His wisdom and sovereignty. He is in control. He who spun the stars into being, who weaves life and death into His plan- He knew. He hears your questions. He has the answers, although He may be silent. We can know that silence is for our good, and in line with His purpose. Rest in this knowledge, my friend.”
While Covid didn’t allow me to turn to people, sit with them, have a cuppa and a chat, it didn’t stop me turning to Christ, which is what I needed far more than anything else. Valerie helpfully turns our eyes to our Heavenly Father throughout this book. Each letter finishes off by pointing up to our loving Father.
While this book has been written with a mother experiencing miscarriage in mind, I am sure that this would be valuable for anyone to read. Statistics say, one in four women have experienced a miscarriage. It is very likely you either have or will come in to close contact with someone who is grieving the loss of their unborn baby. Miscarriage often isn’t easy to talk about. This book helpfully gives the opportunity to walk alongside someone who is opening up about her grief in a very real and raw way. Hopefully it will help you to understand and support someone who is going through the pain of a miscarriage.
- Sophie Barnes, Church Member